I like a challenge, some challenges are much harder than others. There was a time I was returning from Clevedon after bikepacking. I arrived at Bristol Temple Meads station at about 7 in the morning, feeling exhausted, spent and ready to jump on a train for the rest of the way home. I couldn't see how it would be possible for me to make it back.

Something inside me would not give in. I realised that what I craved was the comfort of certainty. If I jumped on a train, I could know the outcome. However, continuing on this journey had many unknowns and certainly would include a number of struggles to come.

Then, I realised that I had time. Despite the exhaustion in my body, I could allow myself to recover because it was not in fact my reality that was urging me to get home, it was my craving for comfort and safety.

And so I stepped off my bike, in that moment challenging the panic in my body and mind. I lifted up my head to see my surroundings. I could sit here for hours and the worst thing that could happen would be that I got home later than hoped for.

The reality was that my worst fear was actually preventing me from getting the most out of the challenge that I faced in that present, in that moment.

The reality was, that I had it in me to complete the challenge. The reality was that I was strong enough in body and mind but I needed to recharge.

After finding somewhere to sit, eat and have a coffee, I set off again.

I completed the challenge that I had set out before me. In fact all along, I now see that the bike ride itself was not the real challenge of that weekend.

The real challenge was that 1 hour of despair at the train station.